For a good long time, I thought I could get away with role-modeling great leadership while ignoring my complicated relationship with sex, money and power.
Well... not really.
A part of me always knew that it was impossible to cover. But, like most of us, I was closing my eyes hoping for the best.
I liked the feeling of the fantasy. It was comfortable and familiar. And funny enough, it was a fairly perfect match for the very vices I most judged in my own family members. (Quietly. Secretly. of course).
I could go on as a guardian of the light, standing for peace, harmony, and justice… helping women grow their impact, fall in love with their bodies, find their voice, and build wealth… all the while certain that my family history of addiction, alcoholism, and seduction would have no repercussions for my business.
Surely, that’s them and not me. Surely, I’m healed enough. I’m a highly functioning individual who runs a successful company… and I’ve worked HARD to keep my own vices at bay.
All of which are true. From a very young age, I made the choice to study and stalk my own ego.
I invested time and energy to learn the ins and outs of the liabilities that come from my upbringing, my lineage, and my DNA. In fact, this lucidity – and the choices it led me to make to steer clear of a possible fall – played a big role in shaping who I am as a leader today.
But the other truth is –
whether they manifest in outwardly visible ways or not,
the vices that impact our relationship with money, sex and power also have a massive impact our ability to lead with integrity and values alignment.
It’s true of me.
And it’s true of us all… whether we own it or not.
And so, in the spirit of going first – I’ve been doing a bit of next-level “research” this year (read: deep study, meets self-reflection, meets embodied practice, meets mentoring, meets trial and error).
Why? Because it’s 'up' in our collective.
Which means it’s time to face it in ourselves.
At this moment in history, the pressure to perform, to succeed AND to cover in business is greater than ever before.
The most recent data shows that VC firms investing in AI technology expect their investee companies to triple, triple, triple, then double, double their worth in the first five years.
We are expected to generate wealth. We are encouraged to grab and accumulate (or instead to shun) power. And we are urged to be gorgeous, polished and sexually attractive – or strangle our sexual instincts and keep them hidden in the dungeon under wraps (or both!) – while we get there.
The greater this pressure becomes,
and the greater access to power we gain,
the more likely the shadowy remnants of our lineage, upbringing and DNA will come to the surface to be claimed.
Just take a look at what’s happening in politics right now across the globe.
When money, sex or power are at stake, it’s easy to lose our center.
And when we lose our center,
we’re much more likely to hide – or hold back.
The truth is, when a woman is under-expressed or under-utilized in her leadership, it’s likely she’s not in truly good standing with at least one of three things: money, sex and power.
And when we feel shame about it or beat ourselves up (and who wouldn’t, really?!)… it gets worse.
As a woman leader, your avoidance of these themes does not make you better than. It does not help you win. Nor does it ultimately save face. Instead, it creates a fragility – like a crack in the dam – that operates like a ticking time bomb in your psyche.
And it keeps a lid on the amount of true power you can actually wield with confidence and with grace.
So, let’s talk about it.
In my NEW Masterclass Money, Sex & Power: Your Shadow Unlocks Your Leadership, we’ll take a look at the intersection of these taboo topics, your leadership, and the self you bring to work.
Together we’ll take a walk through the shadow-lands of:
- Healthy vs. unhealthy risk – [money]
- Seduction vs. magnetism – [sex]
- Taking what’s due vs. fair exchange – [power]
- And more...
I do not have all the answers.
But I do have the skills to engage in practice, and the courage to look.
And here is what I know: the men who are running many of our most powerful institutions are not afraid of their shadows. For better or worse, this territory is not going away. To stand up for what matters to you most, you will need to make our own peace with yours as well.
Reflection – What are some of the shadows that may be hiding unexpected keys to YOUR leadership?
Body practice – Feel the tension in your body that surfaces when your biggest taboo topic is on the table. Where do you feel it? What is the sensation? What do you tend to do next?
See you in class?
LeeAnn
