What does it mean to bring your whole self to work?
Is it safe? Will it get me where I want to go? And –– as many of my clients ask – should I even be aspiring to that?? The answer, of course, is… it depends.
Are you interested in feeling fully alive? Are you ready to face the fact that you have outgrown your current company, type of work or specific role and it might be time for a change? Are you willing to sit still with yourself and be in the very uncomfortable sensation of not knowing exactly what to do next?
On the other hand, are you willing to look yourself in the mirror and think:
“if I’m honest with myself here… I am lying.”
Lying about who I am. About what I want. About what my real needs are. About what my time and energy is worth.
The truth is, making a commitment to bring your whole self to work will ask more of you than you can imagine. It isn’t for the faint of heart. It is the path of the warrior woman, who refuses to settle for anything less than wholeness. It may break things, either up or down. And you may have some clean up to do.
This type of honesty requires strength. Courage. Conviction. It requires you to show up for yourself, even on days when you’d rather sit it out. Some days it requires going slower than you’d prefer. Other days, it asks you to put your foot on the gas. It can be confusing. Confronting. Disorienting. Even destabilizing.
And yet… It is also the path of MAGIC. Of self-forgiveness. Of unexpected miracles. Of grace. It untangles and it frees. It begins to disrupt glass ceilings. And it opens the door to feeling fully alive.
And this is why I believe it’s worth it.
When a woman with a vision for positive change takes a risk to come more fully into alignment with her emerging truth, she begins to shape the very nature of her reality. When she takes action on that truth, in relationship with others, the cracks in the old paradigm structures around her become more apparent. While that may sound scary, it is actually the nature of organic growth.
What’s more, if she is a leader in her industry or organization, she will most likely become a way-shower in her opening and expansion. Which is exactly what is supposed to happen.
Every organization – like every organism in nature – has a blueprint that dictates its highest possible form of evolution. In nature, the organism follows this blueprint towards expansion. Life moves toward more life. If the life force inside of an acorn decided to lie about its natural and inherent longing, we would never see the fruition of the oak tree.
In the same way, when we follow the design of our longing as leaders, we become the positive force of change that guides both our career and our organization toward their ultimate expression of life.
When you are willing to show up for yourself (and do it out loud), you become an inspiration. Not by trying hard. Not by nailing your corporate image or perfecting your ‘brand’. But by being real. As you make an impact on others, you cannot help but reap the benefit of this impact.
It doesn't always come in the way you expect it. But it always sets something free.
Recently, I had a conversation with a colleague who is also a coach and trainer in the field of embodied leadership about how organizations change. I shared with him my vision for an organization of which we have both been a part. We spoke about a cycle of growth in which the org seemed to be stuck – and my recent decision to leave.
For many years I had been afraid to step away – worried that somehow my departure would be a catalyst for new growth, and that I would miss out. Will it eventually change? I believe that it will. Perhaps my life-giving and truthful move in a new direction will serve to inspire it. In fact, I ultimately decided to dedicate my departure – and the energy I knew it would generate – to the possibility of mutual growth and evolution in positive directions for all.
What truth are you sitting on right now that could catalyze, inspire, or even set you free?
This week – if you’re feeling courageous – invite you engage in an intentional practice of bringing your “whole self” to work.
You don’t have to do it forever. You don’t even have to do it everywhere, or all the time. It’s more than ok to just dip your toe in the water for now. In fact, I dare you to just pick one thing, one way, or one place in your day-to-day life for this practice to germinate. And in parallel, try on a new habit in your body in the context of a regular physical practice or healing context. For example...
In your movement or healing practice –
put some attention on the area around your throat this week. Do you lock your jaw? Does your throat feel tight or constricted? Where do you hold your tongue in your mouth – and could it be more relaxed?
Dedicate your movement or healing practice to your truth. Set an intention that it opens the way for greater honesty this week. Release something that is holding tight. If possible, allow yourself to make a sound. Sigh, yell or sing an emotion you are feeling. Say your own name out loud.
And at work –
consider one small way that you “lie” about who you really are, where you really stand, what you really feel or what you really think. Do you giggle uncomfortably when your boss tells an awkward joke. Do you say ‘no thanks’ when someone offers you a snack you’d really enjoy or ‘it was nothing’ when you receive a compliment for some seriously hard work? Do you agree when you actually disagree? Do you say “I’m fine” when you’re angry, nervous or sad?
Without making a big deal of it, try doing the opposite this week. It may feel like jumping off a cliff – though (depending on what you choose) it’s possible that no one will even notice the difference. But YOU will.
Embrace the discomfort. And take note of what happens next.
While this type of practice doesn’t usually change everything overnight, it can set a powerful wheel transformation in motion.
Enjoy the ride,
