In this moment, there is a lot to be angry about. Whether it be your own personal experience of loss, fear, oppression or devastation – or the emotions that arise as you witness the impact on others in your community – or both, you may find there are a lot of BIG feelings to feel right now.
Bigger, perhaps, than you know what to do with. In this moment I want you to know that it’s ok – even necessary – to let yourself feel.
Yesterday in my morning practice, I found myself in a full-blown adult temper tantrum – kicking, stomping, pushing and eventually yelling out loud. At first my mind tried to intervene: “really? am I three years old?” But over the years, I’ve come to trust my body. I already knew this was present before I stepped into the practice space.
I shook. I screamed. I stomped and kicked. I breathed. Hard. I let my body move it through. And when I felt complete, I rode the energy back down to earth. My body felt awake. Alert. Alive. And I knew exactly what I needed to do next.
More than ten years ago I finally read a book that had been sitting on my shelf for twenty. While the title now escapes me, it was about the story of a woman who grew up in an intentional community where rituals of somatic release were practiced daily.
Instead of talking it through like adults (or perhaps in addition to), community members would lay down on a yoga mat and let themselves cry, kick, laugh or scream – whatever was needed – before addressing the issue person to person. It sounds weird (and maybe it was!) but it worked. The body doesn’t lie.
Founder Peter Lavine and other practitioners of Somatic Experiencing often tell the story of a gazelle who, when attacked by a predator, goes into shock, falls down ‘dead’, then later shakes dramatically to process the experience through the body… then gets up and moves on with her life.
Yet we humans have a significant barrier to entry when it comes to this type of perfectly natural response – our thinking minds.
The very same tool that ‘sets us apart’ from the Animal Kingdom in all of the ways we celebrate… also sets us apart from our very nature.
We judge. We question. We make choices, consciously or unconsciously, that take into account what others will think. We sit still, clench our jaw and keep our mouths shut.
How do we reconcile the visceral needs of our animal bodies with our adult selves and strong minds?
As a practitioner of somatic (embodied) leadership, I have a lot of answers. But in this moment, I believe the more potent question to ask is WHY?
- WHY is it important to let our animal bodies unfold in their natural process?
- WHY would I risk feeling my rage?
- WHY challenge my own thinking and set aside fears of judgment?
- WHY let myself be irrational, some of the time?
Because your resistance to your own body’s emotions is killing you.
And it’s killing us.
With no healthy outlet for our rage the powerful and condensed energy of meaningful protest unhinges into the chaos of riot. When rage festers under the surface of our humanity and mother Gaia can't contain it any longer, she sets herself on fire. And when thousands of people contain their undigested rage for long enough, it unhinges into the chaos of war.
Is it a problem? It is and it isn’t. It’s natural. It’s an outlet. And, under the circumstances, it makes sense.
But I also think we can do better.
When we give ourselves only two choices – to stifle it until we can’t help but explode it out – we often create consequences for ourselves and others that we regret. We also do unnecessary additional harm to our own bodies and hearts in the process. Literally, we hurt our bodies and make ourselves sick.
When we hold our rage as sacred, and allow it to run through our bodies in a safe and choiceful way, we alchemize the fire and begin to receive its gifts: energy, power, aliveness, clarity, wisdom, understanding, new ideas, unexpected next steps…
I wish I could tell you that things will get easier soon. The truth is, I don’t know how and I don’t know when. Things could get worse – at least for a time – before you feel relief.
If you wish to be a resilient and co-creative force of change… or if you simply wish to weather the present storms with greater peace of mind and physical health,
I urge you to invest in developing a practice to tend, feel and move through your emotions this month.
In your movement practice,
Whether you jog, practice yoga, dance, bike or swim… let your body guide you into the crucible. Choose some music that ignites a fire in you. Contract and release your muscles. Deepen and intensify your breath. Perhaps, make a sound. And let. Yourself. Feel.
In life,
Take one step to get closer to what you feel in the moment. If you typically say “I’m fine” when you’re asked about how you’re doing, try naming one authentic emotion word instead. If you talk a lot about your feelings, try saying less and feeling it more. Choose one person in your life who is willing to be a sounding board and don’t censor. Set a timer, say the real shit you’re really feeling for five or ten minutes before trying to “figure out” what to do. Then breath. Ground. And take the next step.
Investing in authentic feeling is one small step that can pay big dividends when you’re leading in challenging times.
Daring to listen to your body, even when you don’t like what it has to say, is a practice of choiceful attention.
I commend you for choosing what’s real.
In solidarity,
